Tantric sex and a chair to go, please

Does this look comfortable to you? No, not good. It’s all good. I mean, doesn’t he look a little . . . awkward? He’s going to get a bad back if he keeps that up. She’s probably going to slide off that couch when she climaxes, and who knows what is going to get dislocated. Am I the only one who worries about these things? NO! I’m not. I have discovered what is possibly the greatest sex aid available on the web, after the 900 different models of the Rabbit, of course. It’s the Tantra Chair. Yep. Here it is.

Look at the shadowy couple. Don’t they look happy? Nothing strained or requiring a trip to the orthopedic surgeon. It’s on the Discovery Channel. Swear to God. It’s apparently their favorite chair. Says it right there on the website. I like the red brocade. Classy.

You’re asking yourself, why is she hawking the Tantra Chair? Are they paying her a commission? No, but that’s a good idea. Lissa recently wrote about inspiration. I am inspired, baby. Holy. Cow. On the website they have both a video guide and a sexual positions guide. It’s consumer porn. I love it. I’m not actually a visual inspiration junkie. I like to imagine my own fantasies, not import them. But for some reason this works for me. Maybe because it’s about the chair (uh huh, right) and not the sex (sure, Sam.)

I really like the way the chair looks too. It F-L-O-W-S. Like water, or the curves of a woman. It looks double damn sexy. I can envision myself draped across that chair doing all sorts of wonderful things. And I don’t mean crocheting. Better yet, I’d like to let Mr. Kane do all sorts of wonderful things while I’m on that chair. (Check out the guides, people.)

So I thought I’d share this little bit of inspiration. I want this chair. In the Red Morocco Elegant Silk Brocade (it comes in ultrasuede and chenille, too.) In case Mr. Kane is wondering when he orders it for Christmas. I have no idea where we’re going to put the damn thing. It looks so big the only place it’ll fit is the living room. The neighbors might like it, but I’m not into exhibitionism. Yet. But for the Tantra Chair . . . Did I mention I have a bad back?