I Love You-r Car

Baby you can drive my car
And baby I love you

Beep beep’m beep beep yeah

- The Beatles

From David Chun:

In many ways, a guy’s relationship with his car is much like a relationship with a real girlfriend. In fact I’ve even given my car a name. I call her Betsie. A female friend once commented that “it’s endearing, in a weird kinda way, that you would actually name your car.”

Sure it may be weird. But whenever I’m feeling blue and I need to perk up, Betsie will be waiting for me in the driveway. Sometimes we’ll stop by (the gas station) and I’ll get her a drink. Then I’ll take her out for a night on the town or for a long drive through the countryside. In many ways she’s the perfect travelling companion because she never complains about my choice in music and she’s always peppy and willing to cheer me up.

And I try to buy her nice things. When she needed shoes, I splurged and got her nice sporty looking ones (Yokohama AVS db Sports). After all, I thought to myself….my Betsie deserves it! *pats Betsie affectionately on the hood*

So why Betsie?

I picked the name Betsie because it’s such a ridiculous name. It would be too weird to name your car and someday date a girl that has the same name. It’s just wrong. I figure the chances of finding someone named “Betsie” that you would actually want to date is probably VERY small. Besides there’s always the possibility of a future girlfriend getting jealous if you spent too much time with a “Penelope” or a “Michelle”. But “Betsie”? C’mon. They name cows after that.

Friend: Dude you just know that one of these days you’re gonna meet a ‘Betsie’ and she’s gonna be the hottest Asian you’ve ever seen. You KNOW how those Asian parents give their kids weird screwed-up English names!

Yah with my luck that will probably be the case. And I’ll have to say to her, I’m sorry. I can’t date you. My car has your name!

So today I took Betsie out for a short drive by the water. I parked by the breakpoint taking a moment to process the image. The moon was illuminating the ocean. A deep and dark indigo. Ethereal. Absolutely beautiful. I’ve never seen the water like that before. The water shimmered in the wind. In the soft rays of the moonlight, it actually looked like satin.

I looked around. I realized for the first time that other cars were parked around me. The occupants probably all engaged in lusty makeout sessions.

Betsie: *looks at me, batting her eyelashes, coyly*

Me: Ummm. *sliding away in seat…suddenly uncomfortable* I love yah to bits…but ummm….more like a good friend.

After an uncomfortable silent moment, I started the engine and drove back home.

Let’s just hope Betsie doesn’t get too jealous or vengeful and plots to kill me by driving me off a cliff.